


the softest of highs

by falsealarm



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluffy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9396299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsealarm/pseuds/falsealarm
Summary: "She wonders how many times she’s allowed to cancel on Kara before she’s ousted from their friendship. Her generosity has to stop somewhere and surely a fifth time in as many weeks could be it, the final nail in the coffin Lena’s built herself."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well this started as a #hugs4lena2k17 fic and then I decided I wanted more than hugs so this happened. Unbeta'd because I'm a (lazy) rebel. Thanks to the kapow crew for cheering me on xoxo.

Her risotto is dry.

It feels granular against her tongue and the insides of her cheeks as she chews, each gnash of her teeth pebbling it down further. She chews just enough to swallow, tries to wash the taste of it out of her mouth with the dregs of her wine. It isn’t enough.

Thomas has been droning on about his trip to Aspen for twenty minutes longer than Lena’s cared to listen. He’s barely touched his dinner, has had three glasses of scotch in its place and his mouth is on the edge of betrayal, the touch of a slur on his s’s. He’s not paid Lena much mind but Calvin’s eyes have started to wander. Lena knew this dress was a risky choice but she’s sure Calvin would still be staring at her tits even if she were wearing a burlap sack.

She’d like nothing more than to reach across the table and strangle him with his $500 tie.

Robert, on the other hand, has been silent nearly the entire dinner. He’s left the bulk of the conversation to his unwieldly _friends_ and Lena can’t help but wonder why he even reached out to her in the first place. Lena’s seen hide nor hair of him in years but he’d shown up in her office that afternoon with well wishes about L Corp’s new direction, about the changes Lena was making and she was helpless to deny his dinner invite. He’s changed a lot in ten years, his hair’s gone grey and his eyes are darker but he still smiles like he’s keeping a secret. Lena finds that much less charming than she used to.

But still she accepted because he might not be family but he’s peppered through most of Lena’s early memories. She can still hear the echoing clap of her father’s hand on Robert’s back, can still feel the nauseating tilt of his sailboat with Lex steady at her back and the press of his lips at the crest of her forehead at her father’s funeral. He’d simply faded into the background after that, wholly unconcerned with the Luthors once their patriarch had gone. She wonders if he’d still be around if her father were alive but the thought of Lionel brings with it a sudden wave of nausea.

She doesn’t need the restroom but she does need to leave the table, can feel a snaking cold of unease in the pit of her stomach. She stands, clears her throat loudly, “if you excuse me gentleman, I need to powder my nose.”

She can feel Calvin’s eyes on her ass as she makes her way to the back of the restaurant, is relieved to find the restroom empty.

The room is dimly lit but Lena can still clearly see herself in the mirror. Her lipstick is slightly smudged and the bags under her eyes have started to show through her makeup but otherwise she looks alright, a feat of the modern cosmetics industry if anything. She wets a paper towel, presses it to the back of her neck.

She wonders how many times she’s allowed to cancel on Kara before she’s ousted from their friendship. Her generosity has to stop somewhere and surely a _fifth_ time in as many weeks could be it, the final nail in the coffin Lena’s built herself. But then Lena pulls out her phone and there’s a text message, a _picture_ message of Kara’s camp sweatshirt hanging on a clothesline with the caption “it’s not dead yet!!” and Lena’s dialing before she’s even decided her plan.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at Kara’s?” Winn’s voice is garbled through the speaker, like he’s talking with his mouth full, which he probably is.

Lena groans, pinches the bridge of her nose. “I need you to call me back in five minutes.”

“So you’re not at Kara’s?”

“I’m at a dinner I didn’t plan for,” Lena says quickly, trying to sidestep the entire matter but Winn butts in before she can continue.

“You’re in _trouble_ ,” he sing-songs.

Lena closes her eyes, breathes out slowly. “Mr. _Schott_ , I need you to call me in five minutes, can you do that?”

“And do what?” His mouth is full again and Lena can hear the crumple of plastic, the crunch of something as he chews. Before she can answer he interrupts her again, his voice sharp in her ear, “Oh! I’m busting you out of this dinner, aren’t I?”

“I don’t know, _are you_?”

Winn is quick with a stipulation: “Only if you let me come to the lab this week.”

“You don’t have the clearance.”

“Clearance, schmearance.” Crinkling again, more chewing.

“L-Corp isn’t a playground, Winn, I can’t just invite my friends over.”

His reply is saccharine: “Aww, I’m your friend?”

“Stop it.”

“Can I at least see the specs for that self-healing polymer you just patented?”

“The _top secret_ self-healing polymer that hasn’t been announced to the public yet?”

Lena can hear Winn gulp through the phone, “um, _no_?”

Lena pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath. This isn’t the first time Winn’s let slip that he’s got access to L-Corp servers. Lena knows his background, that he’s curious more than he is harmful but that doesn’t mean IT isn’t going to have to double down on cybersecurity measures when she gets in tomorrow. Winn might be her friend but that doesn’t mean he deserves unrestricted access to top secret files, no matter how charming he is. “Are you going to call me in five minutes?”

Winn huffs defeatedly, “what do I have to say?”

“Anything in Chinese, none of these assholes speak it.”

“ _Chinese_?”

“Just say anything Winn, read from a takeout menu, it doesn’t matter. Call me in five minutes.”

Then she hangs up, tosses the paper towel at her neck into the trash and walks back to the table, finding her waitress on the way to order herself another glass of wine.

The men barely register Lena’s return. Calvin is talking now, something about his stock portfolio or maybe just something he heard on CNN, either way Lena takes her seat and is more than ecstatic when a full glass of wine appears not a minute later. Calvin’s voice is a buzz at the back of Lena’s head, nasal and unwanted and now _Thomas_ keeps flicking his eyes to Lena’s chest.

Her wine glass is nearly empty by the time her phone rings.

“Excuse me gentleman,” Lena says quickly, reaching to answer the call. They’re in a corner of the restaurant so Lena stands, turns to face the wall so she can keep her back to the table.

Somehow Winn’s managed to spoof the number on her caller ID but when she answers he very clearly says “kung pao chicken” and Lena has to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

She rambles off an impressive stream of Chinese, hand covering her mouth to keep her voice low and give the impression that what she’s saying perhaps isn’t best to be said in public. Every time she pauses for effect Winn reads another item off his takeout menu and Lena cannot believe this man is her friend. Winn gives up after moo goo gai pan, starts asking Lena if he can hang up now because he’s trying to play Overwatch with James and things are not going well. Lena whispers a quiet “yes” into the phone before she hears the line go dead. She continues with a conclusive line in Chinese, a series of thank yous repeated in quick succession, then she pretends to hang up herself and presses the phone to her chest.

“I am so sorry, gentleman, but I have something urgent to take care of with a Chinese investor.”

All three men have their attention on Lena now and she can see the glossy wash of liquor in their eyes, the hazy confusion of a language barrier between them. They almost seem offended that they haven’t been able to understand a word of her conversation.

Robert is the first to speak and he almost looks relieved that she’s leaving. “Go ahead, you’ve got a company to run, don’t worry about us.”

“Yeah, Luthor,” Thomas adds, voice still a hair shy of a slur, “our night is just starting, you’re gonna miss out.”

“I’m sure I will,” Lena says curtly, moving to grab her bag and her shawl. “Have a lovely evening.”

Then she’s gone, weaving through the crowd of tables trying not to wonder if Robert regrets that dinner just as much as Lena does.

Her driver is in the middle of eating a hot dog when she finds him a block away, leaning up against the hood of her car, ketchup dangerously close to dripping on his shirt. “Teddy, use a napkin.”

Teddy startles when he hears her voice, nearly drops the hot dog itself but quickly brings the napkin in his hand up to wipe at the ketchup on his chin. He waits until he swallows the bite in his mouth before he speaks. “Where to, Ms. Luthor?”

Teddy scrambles around the side of the car while Lena opens the back door herself. He climbs into the driver’s seat as Lena buckles up, “Miss Danvers apartment, Teddy, quick as you can manage.”

Then they’re off.

+++

She has Teddy drop her off then dismisses him for the night. He’s got a life to get back to and she doesn’t need to be thinking about him sitting in the cold dark of her Bentley while she tries to piece together her failing friendship. He offers to stay but Lena isn’t sure Kara will let _her_ stay, doesn’t want to come down to his puppy dog eyes in the event that Kara doesn’t even want to see her.

Her heels start to pinch halfway up the stairs so she takes them off entirely, walks barefoot, heels in hand to Kara’s apartment door. She’s only an hour late but the movie’s already started, she can’t imagine Kara would’ve waited for her. Lena braces herself for disappointment as she knocks on the door but almost as soon as she does she hears a quiet yelp from inside. The familiar patter of socked feet follows then Kara’s opening the door, a wide smile on her face.

“Lena!”

“Hi, can I- is it okay that I’m here?”

“Of course,” Kara’s already in her space, is hugging her before Lena even moves to step through the door. Lena’s quick to hug back, cold hands sliding around to the wings of Kara’s shoulder blades, careful not to stab Kara with her heels. Lena closes her eyes, buries her nose into the crook of Kara’s neck and takes a deep breath. _This_ is all Lena needs from tonight: Kara warm and solid beneath her hands, Kara _happy_ to see her.

Kara pulls away, smile still bright. Her breath smells like popcorn. “I didn’t think you could come.”

Lena’s gaze flicks from Kara’s lips up to her eyes and they’re impossibly blue up close, like the clearest summer sky and Lena has to force herself to look away. “Those men were insufferable,” she says, stepping out from the doorway, from Kara so she can close the door behind herself.

Confusion furrows Kara’s brow, “I thought you said it was a family friend?”

“A friend of my father’s,” Lena starts, unsure of how to finish the sentence. She’s only said a handful of things to Kara about her father, always in passing, non-facts and vague references to his legacy with Luthercorp but nothing personal. She thinks she’d like to share more, that Kara would be patient with her and genuinely interested but Lena’s already relived enough memories for today. She shakes her head, “not the company I was hoping for tonight.”

Lena looks back at Kara just in time to see the twist of a shy smile at her lips. But Kara’s attention quickly switches to Lena’s dress as they take a few steps further inside and she reaches a hand out to trace the beading at Lena’s hip with careful fingertips. She opens her mouth to say something, gaze flicking up to make eye contact but it gets stuck halfway up and a rosy blush creeps onto her cheeks. Lena looks down, maybe her dress wasn’t as bad a choice as she thought.

“I’m a little overdressed, aren’t I?”

The hand at Lena’s hip twitches as Kara’s attention rockets back upwards and she swallows, shakes her head. “No, it’s- you look… beautiful.”

Lena preens a little, smoothing her dress out as Kara’s hand retreats to her side. “It is, isn’t it? But I’d much rather be in your clothes.” A genuine statement really because Kara’s already in her pajamas, joggers and her camp hoodie but the intention is still there and Kara blushes harder.

Her hands are quickly to her glasses, pushing them up her nose as she laughs awkwardly. “You could borrow some clothes if you want, I just did laundry so everything’s clean.”

“If you don’t mind.”

“Of course not,” then she’s off into her bedroom. Lena drops her things by the door and follows, walks in to find Kara’s bed scattered with half-folded laundry. There’s a pile of mismatched socks near the pillows and an assortment of little piles around the far edge. Kara pulls some things from the latter, holds them out with a smile. “These should fit.”

Lena’s been handed a set of sweatpants and a tee that’s definitely two sizes too big but she takes them gladly and heads into the bathroom to change. She peels her dress away carefully and drapes it on a hanger on the back of the door. The sweats, much to Lena’s surprise, fit perfectly and the shirt, emblazoned with a CatCo logo, dwarfs Lena’s frame but she’s miles more comfortable than she was two minutes ago.

Kara’s done a little more folding in the time it’s taken Lena to change, the pile at the center almost gone now. Her hair’s gotten a little messier too, the braid once neatly made at her shoulder is loose, untidy and there’s a crown of errant, wispy hairs framing her face. If Lena didn’t know any better she’d think Kara had done a quick cleaning loop around her apartment.

Before she can ask Kara zooms past her into the living room, remote quick in hand. “I can restart the movie if you want. I was folding so I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“If that’s okay with you.”

“Obviously,” Kara laughs, “I suggested it!”

Then she’s rewinding the last hour of _Stardust_ and patting the seat next to her, beckoning Lena to join. When she’s backed up enough she presses play then immediately gets up to make more popcorn, the hum of the microwave steady in the background as the movie starts in earnest.

There’s a distinct lack of space between them when Kara returns to the couch, the length of her thigh settling warmly against Lena’s own as she digs greedily into the popcorn. But this isn’t new, Kara’s concern for Lena’s personal space has been slowly eroding since their initial meeting. It was gradual at the start, a hand on Lena’s arm, her back, a kind of genial physical affection Lena had grown to accept from friends. But it had quickly started to change, had evolved into something more intimate than Lena was used to. The need to touch, to be near comes more naturally to Kara than it does to Lena.

She’s a monolith of earnest affection and that’s a dangerous slope for a woman who’s been deprived of it for as long as Lena has.

They shift gradually as the movie picks up, Kara settling back against the couch arm and Lena tucking her legs up on the couch beside herself but they don’t separate. Lena starts yawning forty-five minutes in, can feel her eyes getting heavy and she crosses her arms over her chest, tries to straighten up in an effort to keep herself awake but it doesn’t work. The last thing she sees before she falls asleep is Michelle Pfeiffer whispering to goats.

+++

There’s music swelling when Lena wakes, the crescendo of it implying impending action but when Lena opens her eyes she can’t see the screen, sees instead the stretch of Kara’s thighs in front of her and her own hand fisted in Kara’s hoodie. She blinks once, twice, hears the steady thump of a heartbeat in her ear, feels the swell of Kara’s chest against her cheek as she breathes in, the contraction of it as she breathes out.

Then a spike of anxiety rips through her gut.

She jolts a little, body reacting faster than her mind can chastise and Kara mumbles, voice quiet just above Lena’s head: “Hey.”

“Sorry,” Lena moves to sit up but she feels a weight against her shoulders, holding her in place. Then there’s pressure at her scalp, the gentle scratch of nails as Kara’s fingers slip through her hair and Lena gets a soft shock of warmth in her chest.

“You can stay,” Kara whispers.

There’s a familiarity in this closeness, something Lena wants to read as romantic but Kara blurs lines Lena has crossed in years so she can’t be certain. “You’re sure?”

“It’s nice,” is all Kara says.

So she stays, readjusts just enough to see the screen but she keeps her head against Kara’s chest, a hand at her stomach and Kara just hums, keeps her hand soft in Lena’s hair.

+++

The movie is up twenty minutes later but Lena’s been focused on the calming beat of Kara’s heart, her steady breath, only realizes it’s done when Kara moves. She yawns, long and wide, and both her arms reach out as her torso arcs in a stretch.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Kara says, a small laugh in her voice.

“I should probably get home.” But Lena doesn’t move, doesn’t even make like she’s going to and Kara hums like maybe she agrees but she doesn’t move either.

“No,” Kara’s voice is soft again but her tone is unwavering, “you should stay.”

“Really?”

Kara nods, shifting to sit up a little higher and pulling her arm away so Lena can sit up too. “It’s late.” And that’s all the reason she gives, nothing more but it feels like enough so when Kara stands Lena follows.

Kara gets her a fresh toothbrush, points her towards the makeup wipes, the face wash and Lena tries to ignore the fluttering against her ribs when Kara decides to join her as she brushes her teeth. She’s half asleep already, eyelids heavy and she smiles at Lena in the mirror as she brushes, just enough to crinkle at her eyes. Her makeup is already gone so she’s finished before Lena, slips from the bathroom leaving Lena to wash her face as she puts away her laundry. By the time Lena’s finished washing up Kara’s turned all the lights off in the apartment and she’s sitting on the edge of her bed, phone in hand.

“What time do you have to be up tomorrow?”

“Oh,” Lena says softly, knees pressing into the edge of the bed, “6am if that’s alright.”

“That’s fine,” Kara says, turning to Lena with a soft smile as she set the alarm on her phone. “That’s when I usually get up too.”

Then she’s sliding into bed and opening up the covers for Lena, patting the space next to her again like this is normal, like this is something they do now. Lena gets in carefully, very aware of the placement of all of her limbs as she goes horizontal, back to the bed, head at the center of her allotted stack of pillows. Kara, for her part, stays on her half of the bed but she runs hot enough that Lena can feel the heat radiating from her. Lena tries to quiet her mind, closes her eyes, focuses on the blackness there, the small sounds of the city leaking in through Kara’s windows. Her body’s tired, feet still sore from an evening in heels, shoulders and back tight from a day upright at board meetings but she’s still awake a few minutes later when Kara whispers her name.

“Lena?”

Lena hums a non-committal response.

“Would it be okay if I-?”

And then Lena feels a hand at her hip, tentative, two fingers pressing against the fabric of her sleep shirt and Lena’s much more awake than she was a second ago. Kara’s a little closer to her now, Lena doesn’t want to open her eyes to confirm but she can feel the mattress dip at her side, feels Kara’s breath warm against her cheek.

There are no lines anymore, Kara’s smudged them to a blur of hazy white but Lena doesn’t care, nods her head, “yes.”

She turns on her side and Kara slides an arm beneath the pillows under Lena’s head, shimmies up behind her and the fingers at her hip turn into a full hand that helps guide Lena’s hips to settle back against Kara’s.

“Is this okay?” Kara’s voice is just behind her ear and Lena feels the vibration of it against her skin, gets a shiver down her spine.

It takes her a few seconds but Lena answers with another quiet, “yes.”

Kara sighs and Lena feels it against her neck, Kara’s face pressed into her hair. Kara’s hand peeks from the pillows just next to Lena’s head and Lena watches her fingers curl against the sheets. There’s no use in holding back now so Lena moves a hand up, laces their fingers together and Kara squeezes her hand and her hip simultaneously, whispers, “goodnight, Lena.”

Lena whispers back, “Goodnight, Kara.”

+++

The sun’s barely up when Lena wakes, morning light streaming in yellow-white through Kara’s curtains. Patchy shadows fall across the bed and Lena can see the curve of Kara’s hip under the covers, feels Kara’s breath warm at her chest. She’s both tucked _into_ Lena’s side and half _on top_ of her but it’s a comforting weight and Lena closes her eyes again, brings a hand up to curve against Kara’s hip.

She’s nearly back to sleep when the alarm goes off but it’s a quiet tinkling of a thing, growing only gradually louder with each ring. Kara’s quick to silence it, body flipping completely free from Lena to find her phone but she’s right back against Lena when it’s off, nestling into her neck, hand clutching at Lena’s side to pull her closer. Lena feels Kara’s breath hot against her skin, then, very distinctly, she feels lips as Kara plants a fleeting kiss to the underside of Lena’s jaw.

“G’morning.” Kara’s voice is gravelly, half stuck in her throat.

“Morning,” Lena replies softly.

Kara jolts a little at Lena’s voice, like she’s surprised to hear it and for a second Lena’s terrified, that Kara regrets letting her stay, regrets keeping Lena close. She feels something heavy in the pit of her stomach, cold and leaden but then Kara’s hand is gripping her hip and she’s sitting up.

“No, sorry, it’s okay. I just- I forgot,” Kara says quickly, practically tripping over her tongue as she apologizes, looking down at Lena with soft eyes.

But Lena’s heart is still beating rapidly in her chest, adrenaline surging through her system and Kara almost looks devastated now. Lena sees a struggle in her eyes, confusion, hesitation, then a decision and just like that Kara has a hand at her jaw, is leaning down and kissing her. The kiss almost feels like an apology too. There’s an urgency, a hunger to it like Kara’s trying to _prove_ she wants Lena. Then she’s pulling back and oh she’s beautiful like this, hair completely undone from her braid, gentle waves falling over her shoulders. There are sleep marks pressed into her cheek and her lips are a little chapped and Lena’s never seen her without her glasses before, why has Lena never seen Kara without her glasses before?

“Are you- was that-?”

“Again,” is all Lena can manage.

Kara looks relieved, _happy_ and when she kisses Lena again the world slows to a crawl.


End file.
